Difference between a Hymn and a Praise Chorus!!!

Being the "farm-girl" that I am and also being born and raised on music, this funny little story sure got the point across!!  And the fact that I grew up on Hymns and watched the emerging of choruses in the church-world made this quite humorous . . . Martha, Martha, cows, cows, corn, corn and more corn!!!  LOL!

 A Funny Little Story About Hymns and Praise Songs  By Author Unknown

An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it as.“Well,” said the farmer. “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns.” “Praise choruses?” asked the wife. “What are those?” “Oh, they’re okay. They’re sort of like hymns, only different,” said the farmer.  “Well, what’s the difference?” asked the wife.

The farmer said, “Well it’s like this …
If I were to say to you, ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn,’ well that would be a hymn. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you, ‘Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh, Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, in the CORN, CORN, CORN, COOOOORRRRRNNNNN,’ then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well that would be a praise chorus.”

As luck would have it, the exact same Sunday a young, new Christian from the city church attended the small town church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. “Well,” said the young man, “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs.” “Hymns?” asked the wife. “What are those?”  “They’re okay. They’re sort of like regular songs, only different,” said the young man. “Well, what’s the difference?” asked the wife.

The young man said, “Well it’s like this … 
If I were to say to you, ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn, well that would be a regular song. If on the other hand, I were to say to you, Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.

Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by to the righteous, glorious truth. For the way of the animals who can explain there in their heads is no shadow of sense, hearkenest they in God’s sun or his rain unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced. 

Yea, those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight, 

have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.

Then goaded by minions of darkness and night they all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn chewed. So look to that bright shining day by and by, where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn where no vicious animal makes my soul cry and I no longer see those foul cows in the corn . . .  

Then, if I were to do only verses one, three and four, and change keys on the last verse, well THAT WOULD BE A HYMN!”

http://www.apuritansmind.com/

The Window Through Which We Look

 

 A young couple moves into a new neighborhood

The next morning while they are eating breakfast, 

The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said.
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,
The young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a
Nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:
"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.
I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and
Cleaned our windows..."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others
Depends on the purity of the window through which we look.
                                                    -Unknown

THE HISTORY OF APRONS

I don't think kids today know what an apron is...
 

The principle use of Grandma's apron was to protect 
the dress underneath because she only had a few. It 
was also because it was easier to wash aprons than 
dresses and aprons used less material. But along 
with that, it served as a potholder for removing 
hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and 
on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying 
eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to 
be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding 
places for shy kids...

And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it 
around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, 
bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the 
kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. 
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples 
that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was 
surprising how much furniture that old apron could 
dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the 
porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was 
time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents 
something that will replace that 'old-time apron' 
that served so many purposes.

REMEMBER...

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on 
the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set 
theirs on the window sill to thaw.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how 
many germs were on that apron. I don't think I 
ever caught anything from an apron - but love...

[forwarded by Jerry Lambert]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a bit of "priceless" wisdom filled to the brim 
with an out-pouring of love!

Maxine Moments . . .

GOOD OLD MAXINE STRIKES AGAIN . . .






And last but not least . . .

Maxine's Wisdom on "Train of Thoughts"!

Does this sound familiar to you??!!   LOL!

Have a Ducky Day (Nice)!

I was going to send someone a note and wanted to close my note by wishing them a "nice" day.  After thinking about that it sounded so . . . shall I plain and generic - "nice".  Sure we all want every day to be "nice".  But I just wanted to wish them an extra "nice" day - not a run of the mill, ho-hum day but something a little more than that.  Have you felt like you wanted to wish someone more than a simple "nice" day, "nice" time, "nice" visit, "nice" lunch, "nice" - but something a little bit more "extraordinaire"!!?? 

Well, that was just what I wanted to do!  So I looked up the synonyms for "nice".  Since my brain surgery in December and my 5 1/2 months of speech therapy, I am fascinated with words and find myself using words that I never used before - interesting isn't it?? Well, in looking up the word "nice" I found multiple synonyms for that simple little four letter word. 

Here is what I found:  admirable, amiable, approved, attractive, becoming, charming, commendable, considerate, cordial, courteous, delightful, ducky, fair, favorable, fine & dandy, friendly, gentle, good, gracious, helpful, inviting, kind, lovely, nifty, obliging, okay, peachy, pleasant, pleasurable, superior, swell, unpresumptuous, welcome, & winsome . . .  did you know there were that many words for "nice"???

Well, now those synonyms gave me something to think about.  Each of these synonyms tend to give the word "nice" a new dimension to its simple meaning. Which word did I really want to use in wishing them a "nice" day?? I could say, "have a lovely, nifty, ducky, delightful, swell, pleasurable and unpresumptuous day"!!! Would that get the real message across to them? Is that too much??!!  . . . or I could just say to them . . . have a "ducky day" and know that all of those synonyms are wrapped up in the word "ducky" floating down the river of life making your day all of those special unique qualities!! LOL! 

Here's me wishing you just that . . . a "ducky day"! 

Summer in September!

It's a little warm today - 98 degrees!

Another "Summer Funny"!

 

Today's Joke

A "COOL" joke to cool you off in this 100 degree weather we are having . . . 

Gina got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it". Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with WalMart; now you can follow me over to K-Mart."         LOL!!!

Maxine Moments!

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

 I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?

 

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

 

 If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
 

Ride em Cowboys!

Whatever happened to those Old Westerns? 

Someone once said, "Every happy Memory Makes happiness happen again!" Here's to some of those Happy Memories!

One look at this film clip and you'll be young and old all over again. It is "brand new" even listing 2010.

Well, this clip has pictures and names -- so after 50 or so years -- say "Howdy" to some of those mini-heroes from your youth.

(Be sure to "mute" my playlist at the top of this page) now just click on the link below, sit back and enjoy . . .  

http://oldfortyfives.com/thoseoldwesterns

Laughter in Crisis

After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it was out of gas.

A passer-by told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun.

The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn't open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car; I had filled a stranger's gas tank.

Wearily I walked back to the station.

"You know," the attendant suggested helpfully, "instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here."

Aging - Getting Old!

Well, today is my birthday!!!  Happy Birthday to me!! I love "Maxine" and her "years" of practical advice!!   I'm sure she must have seen it all in her days!!!  Really though, she can get by with saying things the normal everyday person won't think of really saying!!  But I'll take her advise on "aging" as I pass on to this next year.  I realize that I am one year "older" but I truly hope I have also become one year "wiser"!  It really isn't the number of candles on the birthday cake but the number of lessons learned in life that really count. The number of people's lives that I have touched and offered encouragement, joy, and laughter to. It is not only the number of lives that I have touched . . . but the number of lives that have touched me and been there for me.  2012 was a unique year for me wrapping up with my "Christmas Miracle". A MRI showed I had two malignant tumors the size of tangerines embedded in my brain. My "Christmas Miracle" resulted in removal of both tumors from the lining of the brain - not embedded in the brain and no sign of cancer! I thank all who have been there to encourage me.  I am looking forward to 2013 with great anticipation of new things, new hopes and new dreams. No longer in the caterpillar/cocoon mode but that of the beautiful butterfly soaring high in the sky and stopping to smell the beauty of each colorful flower along the way!  

Another birthday . . . another candle . . . another day!!!

A Different Type Of Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Help us remember, that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night, is a single mother, who worked nine hours that day and was rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember, that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day, is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember, that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Help us to remember that those in our country that do not speak 'our' language may be able to speak the language of love, if we would be patient, and understand that they feel alone, and out of place, and are looking for a new beginning from a place of poverty, persecution, and hopelessness to a place of security, freedom, and a promise for a future.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts, not just to those who are close to us, but to all humanity.

Let us be slow to judgment and quick to forgiveness and patience and empathy and love.

The Carpenter

 Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side-by-side, sharing machinery and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference and finally, it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

 

One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I 'm looking for a few days' work," he said. "Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?"

"Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor. In fact, it's my younger brother! Last week there was a meadow between us. He recently took his bulldozer 

to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll do him one better. See that pile of lumber by the barn? I want you to build me a fence an 8-foot fence -- so I won't need to see his place or his face anymore."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day -- measuring, sawing and nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job.

The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all.

It was a bridge .. A bridge that stretched from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, handrails and all! And the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming toward them, his hand outstretched..

"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox onto his shoulder.

"No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother..
"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but I have many more bridges to build."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, to build a bond of "love", "peace" & "sacrifice" like this type of  "LOVE".

Just for Today

Just for Today ...

.. smile at a stranger

.. listen to someone's heart

.. drop a coin where a child can find it

.. learn something new, then teach it to someone

.. tell someone you're thinking of them

.. hug a loved one

.. don't hold a grudge

.. don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry"

.. look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are

.. don't kill that spider in your house, he's just lost so show him 

   the way out

.. look beyond the face of a person into their heart

.. make a promise, and keep it

.. call someone, for no other reason than to just say "Hi"

.. show kindness to an animal

.. stand up for what you believe in

.. smell the rain, feel the breeze, listen to the wind

.. use all your senses to their fullest

.. cherish all your TODAYS

~ Author Unknown

Twinkies

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, I subjected the Hostess snack logs to the
following experiments:

Exposure

A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds -- even pigeons -- avoided this potential source of substance.

Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its
original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially
dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of
industrial foam insulation; the filling, however, retained its advertised
"creaminess."

Radiation

A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for
precisely 4 minutes -- the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds,
the oven began to emit the Twinkie's rich, characteristic aroma of artificial
butter. After one minute, this aroma began to resemble the acrid smell of
burning rubber. The experiment was aborted after 2 minutes, 10 seconds when
thick, foul smoke began billowing from the top of the oven. A second Twinkie was
subjected to the same experiment; this Twinkie leaked molten, white filling.
When cooled, this now epoxy-like filling bonded the Twinkie to its plate,
defying gravity it was removed only upon application of a butter knife.

Extreme Force

A Twinkie was dropped from a ninth-floor window, a fall of approximately 120
feet. It landed right side up, then bounced onto its back. The expected
"splatter" effect was not observed. Indeed, the only discernible damage to the
Twinkie was a narrow fissure on its underside; otherwise, the Twinkie remained
structurally intact.

Extreme Cold

A Twinkie was placed in a conventional freezer for 24 hours. Upon removal, the
Twinkie was not found to be frozen solid, but its physical properties had
noticeably "slowed." The filling was found to be the approximate consistency of
acrylic paint, while exhibiting the mercury-like property of not adhering to
practically any surface. It was noticed the Twinkie had generously absorbed the
freezer odors.

Extreme Heat

A Twinkie was exposed to a gas flame for 2 minutes. While the Twinkie smoked and
blackened and the filling in one of its "cream holes" boiled, the Twinkie did
not catch fire. It did, however, produce the same "burning rubber" aroma noticed
in the irradiation experiment.

Immersion

A Twinkie was dropped into a large bucket filled with water, the Twinkie floated
momentarily, then began to list and sink. Viscous yellow tendrils ran off its
lower half, possibly consisting of a water-soluble artificial coloring. After 2
hours, the Twinkie bloated substantially. Its coloring was now a very pale tan
-- in contrast to the yellow, urine-like water that surrounded it. The Twinkie
bobbed when touched, and had a gelatinous texture. After 72 hours the Twinkie
had increased roughly 200 percent of its original size. The water had turned
opaque, and a small, fan-shaped spray of filling had leaked from one of the
"cream holes." Unfortunately, efforts to remove the Twinkie for further analysis
were abandoned when, under light pressure the Twinkie disintegrated into an
amorphous cloud of debris. A distinctly sour odor was noted.

Summary of Results

The Twinkie's survival of a 120-foot drop, along with some of the unusual
phenomena associated with the "creamy filling" and artificial coloring, should
give pause to those observers who would unequivocally categorize the Twinkie as
"food." Further clinical inquiry is required before any definite conclusions can
be drawn.

So be it said that I will not be eating "TWINKIES"!!!

Hymns For The Aging

Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up)

It is Well with My Soul (but my back hurts)

Nobody Knows the Trouble I have Seeing

Amazing Grace (Considering My Age)

Just a Slower Walk With Thee

Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One

Go Tell It on the Mountain (And Speak Up)

Give Me that Old Timers Religion

Blessed Insurance

Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah (I've forgotten where I parked)

THE PRODIGAL SON RETOLD

Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weathered friends.

Finally, facing famine, and fleeced by his fellows in folly, he found himself a

feed flinger in a filthy farmlot. He fain would have filled his frame with
foraged food from the fodder fragments.

"Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier" the frazzled fugitive fumed

feverishly, frankly facing fact.

Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for his family.

Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly. "Father, I have flunked

and fruitlessly forfeited further family favors."

But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged his

flunkies to set forth the finest fatling and fix a feast.

The fugitive's fault-finding frater, faithfully farming his father's fields for

free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of formal falderal. His fury flashed,
but fussing was futile.

His foresighted father figured, "Such filial fidelity is fine, but what forbids

fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare
flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten
and folly forsaken. Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for future fortitude."

6 Sure-fire Ways to Become a Volunteer Magnet!

 1. Watch your language
A healthy environment for volunteers is saturated with verbal honor--regular, specific praise for what they're doing. In his book The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make, Hans Finzel says, "Organizational researchers have been telling us for years that affirmation motivates people much more than financial incentives, but we still don't get it."

2. Listen more intensely
Author Stephen Covey borrowed this from St. Francis of Assisi: "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." Next to physical survival, says Covey, "the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival--to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated." He adds that when you listen carefully to another person, you give that person "psychological air." Once you've met that need, the door is open for you to influence and problem-solve.

3. Lead from the big picture
Your job isn't to serve your volunteers--it's to serve God! In the soon-to-be-classic book On Being a Servant of God, author Warren Wiersbe says, "Ministry isn't easy, but you make it more difficult for yourself if you serve people instead of the Lord Jesus Christ. You can't please everybody, so don't even try".  What great advice! And when you practice it, you'll draw your volunteers away from trivial concerns and into a much bigger mission.

4. Love by your actions
Communicate love to your volunteers by respecting their time. How often have we asked people to show up early only to have them sit around? Been wishing for 10 new hands-on volunteers?  20?  If you answered yes, what would these leaders do? Unless you can assign specific responsibilities with meaning and purpose, they'll quickly lose interest, be ineffective, and drop out.

5. Laugh a lot...with your team
Create a tradition of getting together with volunteers for fun nights. Put names of restaurants into a hat, then pick one for appetizers, one for dinner, and one for dessert--or just pick one course if you're on a budget.  These nights are sure to be highlights for your team, as long as you follow one rule: no shop talk!  It may be challenging at first, but keep each other accountable.  Focus on having fun and getting to know each other personally.  And don't forget to laugh.  It sends a strong, personal message like nothing else.

6. Let go of some of your real responsibilities
Nothing frustrates volunteers more than shoddy delegation or excessive supervision. When you delegate, give specific guidelines and expectations. But don't equate "specific" with claustrophobic oversight. Show confidence in their ability and character; step back, and let them do it.

Isn't this the truth!!

It's so hot in Iowa . . .

IT'S SO HOT in Iowa.....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.

.....the trees are whistling for the dogs.
.....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
.....hot water comes from both taps
.....you can make sun tea instantly.
.....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
.....the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly.
.....you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car (one on each hand)
.....you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
.....you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
.....you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30 A.M.
.....your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?
.....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.
.....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.
.....the cows are giving evaporated milk.
.....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

IT'S SO DRY here in Iowa that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water