Maxine Moments . . .

GOOD OLD MAXINE STRIKES AGAIN . . .






And last but not least . . .

Maxine's Wisdom on "Train of Thoughts"!

Does this sound familiar to you??!!   LOL!

Maxine Moments!

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

 I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?

 

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

 

 If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
 

Maxine

I thought this cartoon was very fitting for me since I decorate ice cream cakes at the Dairy Queen part-time!!!  And we did have a little "mini-blizzard" last week and it was "MAY"!!!

Aging - Getting Old!

Well, today is my birthday!!!  Happy Birthday to me!! I love "Maxine" and her "years" of practical advice!!   I'm sure she must have seen it all in her days!!!  Really though, she can get by with saying things the normal everyday person won't think of really saying!!  But I'll take her advise on "aging" as I pass on to this next year.  I realize that I am one year "older" but I truly hope I have also become one year "wiser"!  It really isn't the number of candles on the birthday cake but the number of lessons learned in life that really count. The number of people's lives that I have touched and offered encouragement, joy, and laughter to. It is not only the number of lives that I have touched . . . but the number of lives that have touched me and been there for me.  2012 was a unique year for me wrapping up with my "Christmas Miracle". A MRI showed I had two malignant tumors the size of tangerines embedded in my brain. My "Christmas Miracle" resulted in removal of both tumors from the lining of the brain - not embedded in the brain and no sign of cancer! I thank all who have been there to encourage me.  I am looking forward to 2013 with great anticipation of new things, new hopes and new dreams. No longer in the caterpillar/cocoon mode but that of the beautiful butterfly soaring high in the sky and stopping to smell the beauty of each colorful flower along the way!  

Another birthday . . . another candle . . . another day!!!

A Different Type Of Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Help us remember, that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night, is a single mother, who worked nine hours that day and was rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember, that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day, is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember, that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Help us to remember that those in our country that do not speak 'our' language may be able to speak the language of love, if we would be patient, and understand that they feel alone, and out of place, and are looking for a new beginning from a place of poverty, persecution, and hopelessness to a place of security, freedom, and a promise for a future.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts, not just to those who are close to us, but to all humanity.

Let us be slow to judgment and quick to forgiveness and patience and empathy and love.

Recipe for a Prosperous, Peaceful Year!

 

Take twelve, fine, full-grown months, see that these are free from all old

memories of bitterness, rancor, hate and jealousy; cleanse them completely from

every clinging spite: pick off all specks of pettiness and littleness; in short,

see that these months are freed as much as possible from the past.

Cut these months into 29, 30 or 31 equal parts. This batch will keep for just

one year. Do not attempt to make up the whole batch at one time (so many persons

spoil the entire lot in this way), but prepare one day at a time, as follows:

Into each day put

twelve parts of faith,

eleven of patience,

ten of courage,

nine of work,

eight of hope,

seven of fidelity,

six of liberality,

five of kindness,

four of rest,

three of prayer,

two of meditation,

and one well selected resolution.

If you have no conscientious scruples, put in about a teaspoonful of good

spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkling of play, and a heaping

cupful of good humor.

Pour into the whole love ad libitum and mix with a vim. Cook thoroughly in a

fervent heat; garnish with a few smiles and a sprig of joy; then serve with

quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness, and a Happy New Year is certain.

Daylight Savings Time!!

Don't forget to set your clocks!!!

Maxine Moment

Importance of Walking

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing!

 
I like long walks, especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me!

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing . . .
start with a small country!

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years . . .
just getting over the hill!

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound . . . Apparently you have to  go there!

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate . . .

 

Maxine - Yearly Physical

Yesterday I went to the doctor

For my yearly physical.

My blood pressure was high.

My cholesterol was high.

I'd gained some weight,

and I didn't feel so hot.

My doctor said eating right

doesn't have to be complicated and

it would solve my physical problems.

He said:

Just think in colors.

Fill your plate with bright colors.

Try some greens, oranges, reds,

maybe something yellow, etc.

and eat an entire bowl of

bright colors.

And Sure Enough . . .

I Felt Better Immediately !!
I never knew eating right could be so easy !!

 
 
Have a great day and take time to laugh a little . . . or even a lot ! ! !  It's good for the soul!

Maxine's Back

Let's face it . . . "nobody's" kidding Maxine!!!!! 
   .    .    .    .    .    .    or for that matter God!!!

Maxine - Gas Prices

Maxine

"Take a Break" from life's hussle &

bussle and enjoy a cup right now!

Maxine

Maxine has such a way with words!! And the funny thing is there is a certain amount of truth in what she says. . . 

I grew up on a farm and must say that I have certainly been on my share of hayrides, many of them originated at our farm.  And there were very few of them that didn't have a little straw tossed around, in and out of clothes, hair, and even the mouth!  Of course, the straw ended up in our mouths from quietly singing . . . Kum-ba-ya My Lord!!  Well, we had some awesome hayrides and some fun memories I will never forget.

I will always cherish some of those fun times on the farm with family and friends. But as I grow older I must admit - I kind of feel just like Maxine on the whole hayride thing . . .

"Hayride vs. Sharp Sticks" . . . Same Difference!!!  LOL!

Low-Fat Farmers Market

Sleeping at Desk

Five Best Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk:

Number 5: They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.

Number 4: This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time-management course you sent me to.

Number 3: “Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got here just in time!"

Number 2: Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?

Number 1 and My all time Favorite: (Raising your head slowly) . . . in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Normal

I've often wondered . . . .

what makes "normal", normal?

What really is normal?

Does anyone really know for sure?

I once heard that "normal is just a setting on the dryer" ! ! ! !

What do you think?

Jobs

Maxine Moment